Gary Ralph, if you're out there, this one's for you...
Thirty years ago I spent the Christmas season working in Wal Mart's original warehouse in Bentonville Arkansas. Back then Wal Mart had, oh, say 126 stores in eight states. I thought they were huge. Now we boast three Wal Mart Super Centers and a boring old regular Wal Mart right here in California's Antelope Valley.
My friend Gary Ralph and I worked loading trucks full of merchandise. As the workers of ages past have done, we sang to alleviate our sufferings (yes, suffering; those trucks got HOT in the summer and COLD in the winter) As Christmas neared, we began making up Christmas Carols suitable for Wal Mart employees. I thought I'd provide a partial list for your amusement:
FORKLIFT BELLS
HERE COMES SAM WALTON
O LITTLE TOWN OF BENTONVILLE
THE TWELVE DAYS OF WAL MART
And my personal favorite...
DECK THE BOSS AND YOU'LL GET FIRED
Merry Christmas!
As best I can remember...
ReplyDeleteFORKLIFT BELLS:
Forklift bells
My boss yells
Freight comes down the way!
HERE COMES SAM WALTON:
Here comes Sam Walton
Here comes Sam Walton
Right Down Bentonville Way
O LITTLE TOWN OF BENTONVILLE:
O little town of Bentonville
How still we see thee lie
Upon thy deep and sleepless streets
The Wal Mart trucks go by
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting Buck
The hope and fears of all the years
Are loaded on those trucks
TWELVE DAYS OF WAL MART:
On my first day at Wal MArt what did my eyes see?
a forklift ridden by three
On my second day at Wal Mart, what did my eyes see?
two broken cases and a forklift ridden by three
On my third day at Wal MArt what did my eyes see?
three bosses griping, two broken cases and a forklift ridden by three
On my fourth day at Wal Mart what did my eyes see?
four people fired, three bosses griping, two broken cases and a forklift ridden by three
On my fifth day at Wal Mart what did my eyes see?
FIIIIIIVE moldy frings! etc.
DECK THE BOSS:
Deck the boss and you'll get fired
Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la!!
Working here makes me so tired
Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la!!
Loading trucks and dodging bosses
Fa-la-la! La-la-la, La-la-la-la!!
Get your check and count your losses
Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la!!
OH! I just remembered one more...
Ho-Ho-HO, I WOULDN'T GO!
Out on the dock when I get board
Out comes gold old (fill in fictitious name for legal indemnity reasons)
Up to the office lickity-split
To see old(fill in fictitious name for legal indemnity reasons)and slap my wrists
Ho-Ho-Ho! I wouldn't go
Ho-Ho-Ho! I wouldn't go-o
Up to the office click, click, click
Back down the stairs with my severance check
That is brilliant!! Makes me wish I'd written my own ditties while slaving away at Food Avenue at Tar-GAY!
ReplyDeleteGot anything for Kumbaya?
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