Tuesday, July 15, 2008

AUTOMOTIVE SACRILIGE

A couple of weeks ago we went to Pismo Beach for a few days. There was a custom car and street rod show going on. And what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature Rambler in customized gear.

Rambler... A customized Rambler. That's like customizing a tractor. C'mon! it shows a serious misunderstanding of what a cool car is. A Rambler was a granny car for pete's sake; a family car--for farmer families.

If you are not catching my drift it's because YOU are not a former denizen of those much cooler times. It would be like customizing a Dodge Caravan. ...Why?

Certain cars are just too ugly or mundane to be cool. The Rambler would be at the top of the list. I guess you might restore a Rambler or an Edsel or a Kaiser--if you wanted to waste your money--but they are simply not cool enough to customize.

If you simply had to customize one of those hunks of old iron you ought to have the grace to do it Big Daddy Roth style. That is, grotesqueify the snot out of it: behemoth engine sticking out of the hood, gigantic fat tires, ten-foot high stick-shift poking through the roof, itty-bitty windows; the works.

If a tricked out Edsel pulled up next to a '55 Chevy and the driver shouted, "Gears for beers!" the Chevy driver would die laughing.

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