STATE OF CONFUSION

CREATIVE FINANCING

My congregation is really feeling the economic squeeze. Along with marketing powerhouse “Starbucks,” Quartz Hill Community Church has turned in disappointing first quarter earnings. I’m getting tired of seeing my treasurer walk around with an icepack on his head.

And we’re by no means alone in this. At the last meeting of the high desert association of churches we cooperate with, most of them reported lower-than-average giving. One of our most prestigious congregations is considering laying staff people off.

All this got me thinking; the sports world has benefited from their pact with the corporate devil, why not churches? Here in SOCAL we already have Qualcomm Stadium, Staples Center and Petco Park. So let’s up the ante. I envision a whole slew of renamed churches, proudly broadcasting corporate sponsorship: Coors Distributing Community Church, BMW Baptist, Our Lady of Perpetual Tampax, Assemblies of Pepsico. Why, the possibilities are endless.

And don’t forget the jackpot: Trump Cathedral!

DJ JIHAD REMIX

As you may have seen, al-Qaeda has released another statement “live from Osama bin-Laden.” Whether you believe it’s actually live or a stale Memorex one thing is certain; the global jihadist movement, aka KAOS, has changed its priorities. From the look of the spiffy graphics and digitally re-mastered bin-Laden photos and sound bites, I’d say al-Qaeda is pouring less cash into global terror and more into a slick public relations campaign. Don’t tell me these guys aren’t politically savvy.

NEWTON'S THIRD LAW

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Duh.

WEEKENDS ARE FOR FUN 31

CHANGE WE CAN SUSPEND DISBELIEF FOR

John McClain for President? Here's the website.

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HUMMM...

The following notice appeared on my Google Blog Dashboard page:


"Blog in your native Indic scriptConvert English characters to Indic script as you type!
Learn more about transliteration on Blogger."


That's amazing! I had no idea Indic was my native script.

BARBARIAN ALERT!

Apparently there has been some discussion in barbarian circles concerning a procedural matter. In the interests of lucidity the following clarification has been issued: FIRST pillage, THEN burn.
Thank you.

THE SPIRIT OF WORLDLINESS

Last week a longtime friend sent out a group email informing everyone he knew that his wife has breast cancer. My wife and I have known these friends since college, thirty-five years ago. My friend described the situation and asked for prayer.

You've probably done it yourself. Asked for prayer, I mean. If not, I'm sure somebody has asked you to pray for something, some time or other.

That's a pretty simple request. For a couple in their fifties facing cancer is a serious matter. This couple has served the lord most of their lives. They turn to Him now in a time of uncertainty and fear. They ask friends and acquaintances to lift them up in prayer. I did so and continue to do so.

Imagine my surprise when I received an email directed to the original group. Two guys answered my friend's plea with corrections to the WAY my he had asked for prayer and how he should do it right, so God will answer. Sure, it's easy, just rub the lamp, say the magic word and God is required to do your bidding. They didn't use those words, but that's what they are saying.

Can you wrap your head around such colossal arrogance? I and another man answered back that this was not the time for a sermon. We got back corrections of our own. I went to their web site and read an looooooong scrolling list denouncing phariseeism and replacing it with their own rules and regulations for pleasing God. Silly me, here all this time I thought salvation was by grace through faith.

This is worldliness, plain and simple. WHAT? you say, I thought worldliness was evil and corruption.

My friend RP pointed out that the New Testament speaks of the world piling on rules and regulations that people cannot bear. Jesus said the rulers of the world like to lord it over on others. These two clowns are doing both.

I've asked them nicely to REPENT!

WEEKENDS ARE FOR FUN 30

With apologies to Gary Larson