Monday, January 26, 2009

EMPTY PROMISES, EMPTY THREATS

So the Senate has decided that two years of annoying TV commercials warning the US public of the change from analogue to digital wasn't enough. Now we're going to postpone the changeover until June, huh? The fear that caused the Senate to take this step is the assumption that too many Americans are not ready yet.

If we made the change when we said we would I bet those procrastinators would get off their lazy butts and go buy the stupid little converter boxes when they no longer got a usable signal. Instead, we'll put it off for the sake of a bunch of morons who still won't be ready in June.

Look for a coming Government program to buy, deliver and install the converter box for these slugs.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

INTRODUCING MY NEW FAVORITE

Allow me to give you a preview a very funny site; THE NOSE ON YOUR FACE. Check out this video on YOUTUBE titled "Hamas Press Conference As Translated By TNOYF." It's worth the effort. You will find the link to the site below, on my Favorites list.

Friday, January 23, 2009

HEAR, HEAR!


Historic is one thing; annoying, idiotic minutiae is another.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

VARIATIONS ON THE 666 THEME

Okay, we all know that 666 is the "Number of the Beast," therefore:


665.999 - Approximate number of the Beast

DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast

666.0000 - Number of the High Precision Beast

0.666 - Number of the Millibeast

/666 - Beast Common Denominator

666 ^ (-1) - Imaginary number of the Beast

1010011010 - Binary of the Beast

6, uh... what was that number again? - Number of the Blond Beast

1-666 - Area code of the Beast

00666 - Zip code of the Beast

1-900-666-0666 - Live Beasts! One-on-one chat! Call Now! Only $6.666/minute. Over 18 only please

$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast

$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax

$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul

$656.66 - Walmart price of the Beast

$646.66 - Next week's Walmart price of the Beast

Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the Beast

Route 666 - Highway of the Hip Beast

666F - Oven temperature for roast Beast

666k - Retirement plan of the Beast

666mg - Infernal Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast

6.66% - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank ($666 minimum deposit required)

Lotus 6-6-6 - Spreadsheet of the Beast

Word 6.66 - Word processor of the Beast

i6686 - CPU of the Beast

666i - BMW of the Beast

DSM-666 (rev.)- Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast

668 - Next door neighbor of the Beast

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A THORN BY ANY OTHER NAME...

Finally heard back from the literary agent I submitted to in September. Yep, I got yet ANOTHER rejection for my novel, COLOMBIAN KILO. He graciously wrote:

Don, this sounds like a terrific project, but I'm sorry to say I already have one under contract that is in a similar vein, too similar to allow me to take this one on. Not alike in plot and story, of course, but in the editors and marketplace where I would have to submit them both. That presents a real conflict of interest and would not allow me to represent them at the same time. I do keep good records of what has been submitted to me however, and if the situation changes I'll get back to you. In the meantime, best of luck to you in your search for an agent or editor for the project.

Either they love it and don't need it or they hate and don't want it. Works out the same for me either way.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

SELF-SACRIFICE

I was recently asked "why are you worthy of getting healthy, this year?" I have to say I felt insulted by the question. Why am I WORTHY? Can't think of a single thing that makes me WORTHY that's any different from anybody else. The question strikes me as self-centered, even selfish.

I'm not insulted because I don't want to get motivated to drag my Jabba the Hut body off the couch. I am working on my health, honest. I exercise thirty to forty-five minutes, at least four days a week. That may not be up to Olympic standards, but hey, you try exercising a fifty-four year old overweight-from meds, diabetic body. I hiked four-hundred miles last year. I climbed Yosemite's Half Dome. I want to do better, but I'm fighting a losing battle here.

No, I'm insulted by the whole "ME Generation" attitude of: "on my honor I'll do my best to help myself and cheat the rest." That motto should be engraved on the headstone for 2008. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be a Boomer.

No wonder Christianity is so despised by the modern world. It stands in opposition to self-centeredness.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in
humility consider others
better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others. "Philippians 2:3-4

What ever happened to the notion of self-sacrifice? Especially for others in my family? When I was a kid I heard many success stories that began with a mother or father's sacrifice to see that their child got an education and a good start in life. Don't hear much of that any more. And I haven't heard any success stories that begin with I'm where I am today because my mother ignored me and looked out for herself FIRST.

Nuts to that. I am so sick of my generation's eternal attitude of self-centered, self-congratulation. Like we're somehow special simply because abortion was not safe, legal and available at the time we were born. Oh, wait... we're the generation in love with abortion, aren't we?

I rest my case.

YEAH, LIKE THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN


Fair's fair.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR

May you have a blessed and prosperous New Year. And may the Lord return quickly. Amen.