Wednesday, December 31, 2008


I can't believe that Israel gets blamed for retaliating against Hamas' military targets when Hamas targets Israel's civilian population. If Hamas laid down their arms tomorrow there would be peace. If Israel laid down their arms they would be wiped out. Freaking idiots.

Monday, December 29, 2008


Global Warming my left foot. Normal people--those without money-making, grant-grubbing, power-accumulating agendas--call it "weather." And for those of you who have fallen for it, the realty is an inconvenient truth;


I'll even go out on a limb and prophesy that Spring is coming, followed by a freaking hot Summer, then Fall and... wait for it... wait for it... TAA DAA! Winter again.

Thursday, December 25, 2008


Jim Heintz has written an article for

"Iraq's Christians, a scant minority in this overwhelmingly Muslim country, quietly celebrated Christmas on Thursday with a present from the government, which declared it an official holiday for the first time." <--Click the link to read the whole article.

well, there's an unexpected victory.


Okay, forget the "prophecies" thing. I'm a smart-alec, not a prophet.

I "prophesy" that the media will spend the next ten months pushing an increasing amount of stories to the effect that life-long, rank-and-file Republicans are considering breaking with their party so they can hoist Hillary upon a golden Roman shield and proclaim her Empress of all the Americans. WRONG!

I "prophesy" that the same media will continue to prop up John McCain--sort of like the dead guy from "Weekend at Bernie's"--so they can pose with him and proclaim his immanent comeback. WRONG!

I "prophesy" that "non-radicalized" "Muslim youth" will riot in some European country, scaring the Bejezzus out of people too wussy to kick their little non-radicalized asses and put them in jail.

I "prophesy" that some "atheist" sitting somewhere in front of his computer will have an actual life crisis non-related to the safe, antiseptic, comfortably controllable cyber-world and turn to God for salvation. NO ACTUAL EVIDENCE ON THIS ONE, I'M GONNA TAKE IT ON FAITH.

I "prophesy" that people on the right and left of the political spectrum will proclaim the looming doom of the world--in high-def, 3d, Technicolor with Dolby sound--while the rest of us just live our lives, as usual. RIGHT.

I "prophesy" that the media will spend the next nine months telling us how horrible BIG BUSINESS is, how they rape the average person and how the world would be better off with a socialist economy--followed by three months of weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth about how terrible it will be if the next Christmas season doesn't generate more sales and profits than ever before. RIGHT.

I "prophesy" that no matter who wins the presidential election next Fall, the world will NOT end on the second Tuesday in November 2008. I am confident in this prophecy because Jesus said "No man knows the day or the hour when the Son of Man will return."RIGHTEO!

Don the Baptist is not an actual, certified card-carrying prophet. All prophecies are for entertainment purposes only. Don the Baptist assumes no liability in the event of a Don the Baptist prophecy actually impacting your life.


Gospel of Luke, Chapter Two: "1In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2(This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3And everyone went to his own town to register.

4So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ[a] the Lord. 12This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

13Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
14"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

15When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

16So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

Hark the herald angels sing
Glory to the new born king
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled
Joyful all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With th' angelic hosts proclaim
Christ is born in Bethlehem
Hark the herald angels sing
Glory to the new born king

For he alone is worthy
For he alone is worthy
For he alone is worthy
Christ the Lord

Tuesday, December 23, 2008



My kids found a treasure trove of commercials and kids shows from the sixties, on YOUTUBE. I watched clips for the old G.I. Joe toy, Super Car--the animated marionette show--and its successor, Fireball XL-5.

Then they found something REALLY weird; a drug-awareness educational clip about LSD. It's labeled as propaganda, but really its just poorly done; like it was filmed by a bunch of high-schoolers with an old Super Eight Bell & Howell movie camera.

The LSD film tells the story of a girl who "dropped some acid" at a friend's house and went out for a hot dog. Suddenly, the hot dog began screaming, begging the girl not to eat him. She threw it on the ground and stomped it into the pavement. That's not propaganda, stuff like that is pretty common "Acid Trip" fare from what I've heard. But that's not the best part.

The moral of the story, according to my son is: "kids, don't do acid or you might waste your supper."


When I was a kid I never understood that Christmas was a religious holiday. I got toys, that’s as much as I needed to know. When I got a little older I enjoyed giving & getting presents; but I still had no clue that Christmas was anything more than that.

Thing is, I had no excuse. I heard the Christmas story every year. I mean there were School programs where we sang the carols… Somebody managed to drag me to VBS at least once a summer. We even had a backyard Bible Club in my neighborhood. I went. If that wasn’t enough, every year I listened to Linus telling Charlie Brown the true meaning of Christmas, right out of the Gospel of Luke.

And yet… I got nothin’.

But, maybe it’s not so surprising after all. The twelve men whom Jesus chose to spend his public ministry with—to pour his life into—were just as clueless.

31 Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them, "We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. 32 He will be handed over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him, spit on him, flog him and kill him. 33 On the third day he will rise again."
34 The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about. Luke 18:31-34 (NIV)

They got nothing, too. Zip. Zero. Nada. They didn’t understand because what Jesus told them was contrary to their desires. The message was hidden because they didn’t want to hear it in the first place. They wanted a Mighty King not a Suffering Servant.

So what about you…? Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard it all before: Baby Jesus, meek and mild… Yada-Yada-Yada…Here’s a surprise, from the point of view of Jesus’ sacrifice, it IS all about you. God became one of us; not just LIKE us, but one of us. He experienced nine months in the womb. He had all the childhood diseases. He had to take care of whiny little brothers and sisters. He made the ULTIMATE sacrifice for you: He VOLUNTARILY went through puberty and the teenage years… He had acne For YOU. That’s what I call suffering before the cross. This little child came specifically to live thirty years as one of us BEFORE giving his life as a ransom for YOU.

Are you like I was? Like the disciples? Are you clueless or do you understand?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


It snowed in the Antelope Valley today. Oh, it often snows here in the winter. Once it even snowed on Easter Sunday. But our "snows" tend to be more a one-day-wonder frosting than an actual Buffalo, New York SNOW.

But not today. Today we got SNOW, at least by California High Desert standards. I just looked out the back window and the patio table has somewhere between 8-10 inches. Cool. We even have a snowbound guest who cant get home because of the snow. Now THAT'S a storm. I know, I know, non-Californians go ahead and laugh, but we don't see this stuff too often. It's still a novelty.

I had business in town all day and driving was bracing, to say the least. I do have one rule for snow driving in California--if you need chains STAY OFF THE ROAD. I did my snow driving basic training in the Ozarks, too many Californians did theirs on Nintendo.

Merry White Christmas Bing.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


"Congress has insisted that auto company executives achieve performance standards or be financially penalized. The CEOs of Chrysler, Ford and GM all are working for $1 per year. Shouldn't congressional pay be adjusted the same way?"

Oliver North


Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Till ringing, singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound the carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn, the households born
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

Friday, December 12, 2008


How to have a little fun in the remaining months of President Bush's tenure:

1. Bush should resign now so Dick Cheney becomes President (that would REALLY irritate certain people).

2. Cheney then appoints Condoleeza Rice as Vice President.

3. Two weeks later, Cheney resigns. Then Condoleeza Rice, a Republican, becomes the first BLACK and the first WOMAN president.

The cost of all this; nothing. The value: Priceless.

Monday, December 8, 2008


Michael Medved posted the following on today:

In this holiday season, Americans hear lots of talk about “Hanukkah” but most Christians—and most Jews, for that matter—don’t know what that word actually means. No, Hanukkah doesn’t mean “Festival of Lights,” or “Festival of Tolerance” – the Hebrew word means, simply, “dedication.” It refers to the re-dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem in 165 B.C., after its desecration by Hellenists who worshipped Greek Gods in the shape of men. The holiday calls for our re-dedication to resisting secularism and assimilation, and recommitting to God’s commandments. The word “Hanukah” has the same root as “Hinukh” –education—emphasizing that there’s no meaningful education without dedication to divine truth. At the darkest time of each year, the glowing candles of Hanukkah signal dedication to bring light to a world that too often worships men, instead of God.


Saturday, December 6, 2008


Last year, Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day was on Saturday, December 8, as reported in Wired Magazine:

The whole idea is to pretend for the day that you are a traveler from a different time - except that, of course, you can't actually *tell* people you're a time traveler, because they'll think you're crazy. There are, of course, options as to how a traveler from a certain other time might act:

1) Utopian/cliché Future - "If the Future did a documentary of the last fifty years, this is how badly the reenactors would dress." Think Star Trek: TNG or the Time Travelers from Hob. Ever see how the society in Futurama sees the 20th century? Run with it. Your job is to dress with moderately anachronistic clothing and speak in slang from varying decades. Here are some good starters:

- Greet people by referring to things that don't yet exist or haven't existed for a long time. Example: "Have you penetrated the atmosphere lately?" "What spectrum will today's broadcast be in?" and "Your king must be a kindly soul!"

- Show extreme ignorance in operating regular technology. Pay phones should be a complete mystery (try placing the receiver in odd places). Chuckle knowingly at cell phones.

2) Dystopian Future - This one offers a little more flexibility. It can be any kind of future from Terminator to Freejack. The important thing to remember is dress like a crazy person with armor. Black spray painted football pads, high tech visors, torn up trenchcoats and maybe even some dirt here or there. Remember, dystopian future travelers are very startled that they've gone back in time. Some starters:

- If you go the "prisoner who's escaped the future" try shaving your head and putting a barcode on the back of your neck. Then stagger around and stare at the sky, as if you've never seen it before.

- Walk up to random people and say "WHAT YEAR IS THIS?" and when they tell you, get quiet and then say "Then there's still time!" and run off.

- Stand in front of a statue (any statue, really), fall to your knees, and yell "NOOOOOOOOO"

- Stare at newspaper headlines and look astonished.

- Take some trinket with you (it can be anything really), hand it to some stranger, along with a phone number and say "In thirty years dial this number. You'll know what to do after that." Then slip away.

3) The Past - This one is more for beginners. Basically dress in period clothing (preferably Victorian era) and stagger around amazed at everything. Since the culture's set in place already, you have more of a template to work off of. Some pointers:

- Airplanes are terrifying. Also, carry on conversations with televisions for a while.

- Discover and become obsessed with one trivial aspect of technology, like automatic grocery doors. Stay there for hours playing with it.

- Be generally terrified of people who are dressed immodestly compared to your era. Tattoos and shorts on women are especially scary.

This year December 8 is on Monday. Have fun!

Well, I guess it beats national Talk like A Pirate Day.


"Where can I find the nuclear wessles?"

"Too much LDS in the sixties."

"Marty, I'm sure that in 1985 plutonium is available in every corner drugstore, but in 1955 it's a little bit harder to come by!"

Thursday, December 4, 2008



Earlier this year I got involved with my local Sheriff's Department Clergy Council. We advise the Sheriff's Department, find ways to benefit the deputies and make ourselves available for counseling and sometimes even help out with routine clerical matters. In an effort to learn what the deputies do and make myself available for service I've begun riding in the cars once a month. I'm trying to rotate all three watches to get to know the deputies and make myself known as well.

I'm not writing this to brag about my compassion. I want to praise the deputies. Of course I've seen them doing their duty with the stern conformity to the law that you'd expect. That's not a surprise. What did surprise me was a ride I did last week. My eyes were opened to the fact law enforcement officers can be compassionate people, too.

The first call we went to was an attempted suicide. I was impressed how well the two deputies cooperated with the firemen and interacted with distraught family members. But that was just the beginning. Later we went to a seedy street lined with empty duplexes. The call said dope was being sold from one of them. All we found was a lone guy sleeping in an abandoned building. When the deputies headed for their cars I asked if they were going to do anything about the squatter. Mine said something like; "he's not robbing a store, he's not burning the place down; its 40 degrees out and I'm not going to hassle him."

Those are two examples. I've seen more and talked with the deputies a bit. These are not wooden, authority-figure, cardboard cut-outs. They are people trained and dedicated to protecting you and me. They are people doing a largely thankless job. Without their efforts our cities would be ruled by chaos. I want to say thank you.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008



I 've been reading blog comments, watching network news and Stephen Colbert lately. Apparently I've been going about this whole Christianity thing all collywobbled. It looks like I have a lot of work to get myself into the proper practice of my religion.

First I have to flush my brain of fours years at a liberal arts College and three years of academically critical graduate school. Why? Because Christians are all uneducated, stupid people, that's why. I learned that from watching TV. Thanks Hollywood!

Second I've gotta run out and get myself fitted for an explosive vest so I can commit ritual siucide (taking a goodly number of infidels with me, of course) in some crowded public place. All for the greater glory of God.

Third, every single time someone makes fun of Jesus I have to throw a huge public protest, burn pillage and kill--or at least threaten--those who did the deed. It's common knowledge that Christians still live in the seventh century along with radical Islam.

Hummm... what else? Oh, right! I hate you because you are different from me. (did I quote that line properly? can't be too careful when you are helping people be comfortable with their delusions)

Wow. That IS a lot of work. No thanks. I'll just stick with my OLD tried and true faith: I am a fallen creature in need of salvation. God became human in Jesus the Christ and died in my place, bearing the burden of my sin. He rose from the dead and promises everlasting life to those who believe.

I know a lot of people who are critical of Christianity. But so many times it turns out they are actually critical of a carefully constructed straw man in their own mind. Apparently its not enough to disagree with someone, you have to trash them as well in order to feel really good about yourself.