Thursday, December 25, 2008


Okay, forget the "prophecies" thing. I'm a smart-alec, not a prophet.

I "prophesy" that the media will spend the next ten months pushing an increasing amount of stories to the effect that life-long, rank-and-file Republicans are considering breaking with their party so they can hoist Hillary upon a golden Roman shield and proclaim her Empress of all the Americans. WRONG!

I "prophesy" that the same media will continue to prop up John McCain--sort of like the dead guy from "Weekend at Bernie's"--so they can pose with him and proclaim his immanent comeback. WRONG!

I "prophesy" that "non-radicalized" "Muslim youth" will riot in some European country, scaring the Bejezzus out of people too wussy to kick their little non-radicalized asses and put them in jail.

I "prophesy" that some "atheist" sitting somewhere in front of his computer will have an actual life crisis non-related to the safe, antiseptic, comfortably controllable cyber-world and turn to God for salvation. NO ACTUAL EVIDENCE ON THIS ONE, I'M GONNA TAKE IT ON FAITH.

I "prophesy" that people on the right and left of the political spectrum will proclaim the looming doom of the world--in high-def, 3d, Technicolor with Dolby sound--while the rest of us just live our lives, as usual. RIGHT.

I "prophesy" that the media will spend the next nine months telling us how horrible BIG BUSINESS is, how they rape the average person and how the world would be better off with a socialist economy--followed by three months of weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth about how terrible it will be if the next Christmas season doesn't generate more sales and profits than ever before. RIGHT.

I "prophesy" that no matter who wins the presidential election next Fall, the world will NOT end on the second Tuesday in November 2008. I am confident in this prophecy because Jesus said "No man knows the day or the hour when the Son of Man will return."RIGHTEO!

Don the Baptist is not an actual, certified card-carrying prophet. All prophecies are for entertainment purposes only. Don the Baptist assumes no liability in the event of a Don the Baptist prophecy actually impacting your life.


Eric said...

I think Number 2 (about McCain) was right for a while until they turned on him and fell in love with Obama.

Kathleen Flynn said...

I agree with Eric.