Observations From Hadleyville: July 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

SHERIFF'S CHAPLAIN

I have decided to take the next step in public service. I'm applying to the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department to become a member of the Chaplain's Bureau. I am already a volunteer with the Sheriff's Clergy Council, advising the Department and liaising between department and my congregation. However, this the service to the Deputies and out in the community is what I am interested in. So, tomorrow I'm heading to a meeting of Chaplains in LA with the Employee Services Bureau.

My Grandfather was a deputy with LASD. I hope he would be proud.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

IT'S LOVELY! I'LL TAKE IT!

I found a new blog this morning: "It's Lovely I'll Take It" contains poorly chosen--to say the least--photos from real estate listings. Many of them are hilarious. THIS particular one is of the creepiest looking house I've ever seen. I may never sleep again after being violated like this. Click on this link if you dare.

Friday, July 10, 2009

DUMBING DOWN SCIENCE FICTION OR THE DEATH OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION

The SciFi Channel has suddenly changed its TV tag to a more trendy "syfy." Trendy but stupid. You see, "SciFi" is shorthand for Science Fiction, while "syfy" is shorthand for "maybe stupid people will watch us now."

Science Fiction has long been the undisputed domain of geeks and nerds; i.e. "smart people." But now it looks as if their reign has come to an untimely end. If the corporate types are willing to dumb-down the tag can the content long survive?

I expect to see new shows like STAR SEARCH: THE NEXT GENERATION, BATTLESTAR CURB APPEAL, perhaps EUREKA, I FOUND A TRENDY LOFT APARTMENT.

I can't wait to see what the Military Channel has planned to attract female viewers.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

OBSERVATIONS FROM THE ROAD

Karen and I have been on a driving excursion through the mid and southwest for the past two weeks. I have gained some insight on driving practices on this trip.

1. Californians treat the speed limit as the minimum they are willing to tolerate from other drivers; otherwise, "get out of my way!"

2. Texans treat the speed limit as an unattainable, lofty goal for which all must strive, but none may achieve. What is up with going five MPH under the limit in the left lane?

3. Here's a tip for mid-western drivers; in order to pass another car you actually have to go faster. Just pulling even with the rear axle and maintaining the same speed for five miles won't get the job done.

4. Safety is a by-product of good driving, not the goal. The goal of good driving is to get from point A to point B quickly and efficiently.

5. Arizona seems to have fired all their state troopers in favor of automatic cameras.

6. I LOVE the I-10 in south Texas; 80MPH all the way from San Antonio to El Paso.

7. A three pound raven traveling at 5MPH is no match for a Ford Explorer traveling at 80MPH.

8. A three pound raven splatting into your car at 80MPH is much more exciting than watching frozen poultry shoot out of the "chicken gun" on Mythbusters. It will wake you up; definitely.

9. Ford's outside mirrors traveling at 80MPH are no match for a three pound raven traveling at 5MPH.

10. There are enough butterflys per square mile in south Texas to clog up your radiator grill.

SECOND VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST

QUASI-LEGAL DISCLAIMER

Don the Baptist considers himself to be both intellectually deep and extremely humorous. Don the Baptist assumes no responsibility for blog browsers who cannot tell the difference between the two. Blog browsers are advised to consider any "Observations from Hadleyville" content that makes no sense to be the result of a lack of intellect or sense of humor on the part of the blog browser and not that of the blogger. Don the Baptist is a non profit guy so don't bother suing Don the Baptist as it would be a waste of time and resources.

WORDS OF WISDOM FOR WRITERS

The secret of becoming a writer is that you have to write. You have to write a lot. You also have to finish what you write, even though no one wants it yet. If you don't learn to finish your work, no one will ever want to see it. The biggest mistake new writers make is carrying around copies of unfinished work to inflict on their friends.

I am sure it has been done with less, but you should be prepared to write and throw away a million words of finished material. By finished, I mean completed, done, ready to submit, and written as well as you know how at the time you wrote it.
-Jerry Pournelle

WHAT'S THIS HADLEYVILLE THING?

Those of you familiar with Mark Twain’s works might recognize my blog title. As Samuel Clemons grew older, he became increasingly disillusioned with humanity. Towards the end he began referring to the Damned Human Race; employing the secular and religious epithet at one stroke.

I find I’ve not reached that level of despair myself. I still believe in redemption and I still see signs of nobility even among we fallen, damned creatures. So, I could not bring myself to call this blog “On the Damned Human Race.” I do however, resonate with another of Clemmons stories; “The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg.” And viola, there you have it. “Observations From Hadleyville.”