Friday, May 16, 2008

CREATIVE FINANCING

My congregation is really feeling the economic squeeze. Along with marketing powerhouse “Starbucks,” Quartz Hill Community Church has turned in disappointing first quarter earnings. I’m getting tired of seeing my treasurer walk around with an icepack on his head.

And we’re by no means alone in this. At the last meeting of the high desert association of churches we cooperate with, most of them reported lower-than-average giving. One of our most prestigious congregations is considering laying staff people off.

All this got me thinking; the sports world has benefited from their pact with the corporate devil, why not churches? Here in SOCAL we already have Qualcomm Stadium, Staples Center and Petco Park. So let’s up the ante. I envision a whole slew of renamed churches, proudly broadcasting corporate sponsorship: Coors Distributing Community Church, BMW Baptist, Our Lady of Perpetual Tampax, Assemblies of Pepsico. Why, the possibilities are endless.

And don’t forget the jackpot: Trump Cathedral!

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