I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

Today Karen and I went to the "Passport Fair." It was great. We went on rides, ate cotton candy, bought balloons and watched the clowns cavort. No, wait; THAT was the actual fair. The "Passport Fair" was held at the Post Office which should have been my first clue.

When they say "Fair" what they mean is: "Going to the Post Office five days before Christmas to mail packages, FAIR." Or perhaps, "Going to the post office at 11pm on April 15th hoping to get today's time stamp on your income tax return FAIR." In other words it's going to the Post Office to stand in line. A long line. A REALLY LONG LINE. It took us two hours to get to the "talk to a human person" point. Which is still not the "process your application" point.

This made me truly enthusiastic over the prospect of government run health care.

The first thirty minutes weren't too bad. We spent that time filling out the application. On the other hand, we did have to do that while standing in a shuffling line writing on our hand for a hard surface. (I brought a book, which all authors know is immeasurably better.) While filling out the paperwork I was helped in my concentration by the woman in line behind me. She was having a loud, one-sided conversation on her cell phone which consisted of the following exchange: "Mom, I'm here but I don't have the proper documentation, it's all in your safe... But your told me to come here... But I don't have the proper documentation, it's all in your safe... But you told me to come here..." On and on, over and over for thirty freakin' minutes! It's helpful trying to remember your parent's birth date and place of birth while juggling over-sized paperwork on your hand with stooge-level inanities shouted in your ear.

Five minutes after I finished the paperwork she got out of line.

We finally made it to the front of the line where the first question was, "Will you be traveling out of the country in the next four to six weeks?"
"Yes."
"Come back when you return to the United States."

ANNOUNCER: ...Don the Baptist, you just survived another bureaucratic nightmare, what are you going to do next?

I'm going to bed.