Observations From Hadleyville: WARNING, WARNING: BLOOD DEPRESSURIZATION IN PROGRESS

Saturday, October 29, 2011

WARNING, WARNING: BLOOD DEPRESSURIZATION IN PROGRESS

I just bought a bag of dog food for our four-legged dust mop. At the checkout counter I noticed a quality assurance statement on the bag. Near the top, emblazoned across the package were the words: "Every bite tastes homemade."

...How am I supposed to test that statement?

Do they expect me to eat some, just to be sure? Maybe they're addle-pated PETA types, thinking this assurance is somehow information MacArthur the Cocker Spaniel is dying to know. This is the same dog who would gladly stuff his snout into the rotting carcass of a five-day-dead skunk. I don't think he cares.

No, I think the marketing copy writer thinks I'm stupid. I'm expected to be impressed with this knowledge, choosing their brand over the competitor.

What am I supposed to do? Mount a protest? refuse to buy their product? Climb up on the cash register counter and denounce the dog food maker?

Yeah, it's not that important to me. Next time I'll avert my eyes and leave it to the PETA types.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...: See, I don't think it's selling to PETA people... It's advertising for pet "parents." as your son I was raised to know that a pet is a pet, and that's how I see it... This is for those crazy folks who have decided their pet is now their offspring, I don't get it either...; October 29, 2011 at 6:08 PM
Don the Baptist said...: Sheesh.; October 29, 2011 at 6:28 PM
Anonymous said...: I don't know. . .I was sorta hoping you might stage a "sit-in" at least. I need something special to perk up my 11 o'clock news.; October 29, 2011 at 6:35 PM
Don the Baptist said...: I would have, but I was waiting for my skinny pumpkin spice latte.; October 29, 2011 at 6:56 PM
Natalie on cocker spaniel care said...: I also wonder who does the taste test for dog food.; November 24, 2011 at 5:42 PM

Post a Comment

QUASI-LEGAL DISCLAIMER

Don the Baptist considers himself to be both intellectually deep and extremely humorous. Don the Baptist assumes no responsibility for blog browsers who cannot tell the difference between the two. Blog browsers are advised to consider any "Observations from Hadleyville" content that makes no sense to be the result of a lack of intellect or sense of humor on the part of the blog browser and not that of the blogger. Don the Baptist is a non profit guy so don't bother suing Don the Baptist as it would be a waste of time and resources.

WORDS OF WISDOM FOR WRITERS

The secret of becoming a writer is that you have to write. You have to write a lot. You also have to finish what you write, even though no one wants it yet. If you don't learn to finish your work, no one will ever want to see it. The biggest mistake new writers make is carrying around copies of unfinished work to inflict on their friends.

I am sure it has been done with less, but you should be prepared to write and throw away a million words of finished material. By finished, I mean completed, done, ready to submit, and written as well as you know how at the time you wrote it.
-Jerry Pournelle

WHAT'S THIS HADLEYVILLE THING?

Those of you familiar with Mark Twain’s works might recognize my blog title. As Samuel Clemons grew older, he became increasingly disillusioned with humanity. Towards the end he began referring to the Damned Human Race; employing the secular and religious epithet at one stroke.

I find I’ve not reached that level of despair myself. I still believe in redemption and I still see signs of nobility even among we fallen, damned creatures. So, I could not bring myself to call this blog “On the Damned Human Race.” I do however, resonate with another of Clemmons stories; “The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg.” And viola, there you have it. “Observations From Hadleyville.”