Tuesday, July 10, 2012

TEDIUM

I am having to exercise patience at which I do not excel. Every time I begin to feel better I jump up and take a walk or something, just to celebrate my new-found independence. After all, everyone told me, "don't just lay around in bed. Get up, get out, exercise that body!"

It has been less helpful than I had supposed. See, I am battling a low-grade infection. I'm on anti-biotics, but its quite a roller coaster. I'll feel really good one moment, the next I'm under blankets with the chills, followed by a fever.

Not fun. We've decided that for now I must possess my soul in patience and let the infection run its course.

Funny how the big things are a snap to face. Surgery? "Hah! I'll man-up for Jesus. You bet Lord, I can take this for you!" But when it comes to little annoyances (by which I mean daytime television) I am such a whiny baby. I'm bored! "my nose is cold and my tail is cold and my toes is cold."

Oh, I read a lot, never thought I'd get bored with that, but I have. What about writing? I'm a writer with hours of unused time. Today I had the house to myself so I thought I'd process some prose. Sorry to say, I did not have writer's block, I had writer's I-don't-care.

I guess this is simply the nature of being sick, recovering from surgery. When I visit people in the hospital I often hear, "I'm sorry I don't feel better for your visit, pastor." I always respond, "you're in the hospital, you're supposed to feel lousy."

He who has ears to hear...

3 comments:

Lori Stanley Roeleveld said...

Your post brought me back to the 15 years I had active lupus (been healed and symptom free for 19 years now). One day I'd be fine, the next day I'd be listless or in pain, sometimes too foggy to focus on reading or writing. There's no way to romanticize tedium but God is there in that, too. Great time to appreciate how lovely it is just to exist. The old Celtic writers or the writing of monks were instructive during this time - they had so much to say about serving the Lord in the midst of everyday drudgery. Love to tune in to your posts, bro.

Don the Baptist said...

Thanks, that means a lot Lori

Carol Anne Wright Swett said...

Oh, Don. I know exactly how you feel. When I broke my leg, the only thing I could do was sit and play Solitaire till I was ready to blow my brains out. Read? Write? You've GOT to be kidding. For a while, I thought it was post op haze. Then, I figured out it was just feeling trapped. I wanted to want to write...but I had no words. Sorry you are infected. Low grade is often more aggravating that more acute ones. I continue to pray for you and your family.