Observations From Hadleyville: STAT! AGAIN

Sunday, August 12, 2007

STAT! AGAIN

I went to the medical oracle yesterday for a follow up exam. After an X-ray, he pronounced my doom…

In June 2006, I was incapacitated with a monster kidney stone. All last summer I took pain medications, laid around with no energy and endured therapeutic indignities. After two rounds of lithotripsy—where the kidney is bombarded with sound waves to break up the stone—I had some internal crushed gravel left. Turns out, a year later, I STILL have some stone.

So, I get to endure yet another round of lithotripsy. The procedure itself isn’t hard or painful. I simply lie on a table in twilight sleep and listen to the snap, crackle and pop of the machine. (the first time I got to sit in this cool James Bond-looking contraption which picked me up and dunked my lower body into a water-filled tank. The last three times I laid on a restaurant door with the porthole window; Yawn! Booring!) No, its what happens to me afterward. I find the effect completely debilitating. It wipes me out. I have no energy for months. After two procedures a year ago I still feel lethargic. Now I get to endure another one. I’m wondering if my church will finally declare me completely useless and fire me for good.

On the other hand, perhaps it’s the stone bits lodged in my ureter that are wiping me out. If so, then flushing them out ought to improve my stamina over the long haul. I’m hoping so. My mind is not ready to retire yet, but my body seems to have already opted for it.

Well, nothing for it but to gird up my loins and shamble into the brave new world. How’s that for mixing metaphors?

1 comment:

Stephanie P. said...: You'll be great, I know it. Besides, I'll be there to make you laugh. That's a good thing, right? Erm, maybe not on that day...; August 12, 2007 at 11:04 PM

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WORDS OF WISDOM FOR WRITERS

The secret of becoming a writer is that you have to write. You have to write a lot. You also have to finish what you write, even though no one wants it yet. If you don't learn to finish your work, no one will ever want to see it. The biggest mistake new writers make is carrying around copies of unfinished work to inflict on their friends.

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WHAT'S THIS HADLEYVILLE THING?

Those of you familiar with Mark Twain’s works might recognize my blog title. As Samuel Clemons grew older, he became increasingly disillusioned with humanity. Towards the end he began referring to the Damned Human Race; employing the secular and religious epithet at one stroke.

I find I’ve not reached that level of despair myself. I still believe in redemption and I still see signs of nobility even among we fallen, damned creatures. So, I could not bring myself to call this blog “On the Damned Human Race.” I do however, resonate with another of Clemmons stories; “The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg.” And viola, there you have it. “Observations From Hadleyville.”