Friday, November 23, 2007

HOLIDAY SHOPPING TIPS

1. Please get up at 3 am for the 4 am earlybird special deals. That way when I get up at 10am and hit the stores around 1pm you will all be back home asleep and the place will be empty.

2. What is the deal with GROUP shopping? Why does the entire extended family have to go stand in the middle of the busiest aisle discussing where to go for lunch? Do you all buy Christmas/Hanukkah presents for the collektive?

3. Are you aware that you are not the only person in the store? OTHER people, LOTS of OTHER people, want to pass through that doorway you are blocking with your Cadellac Escalade Stroller and a confused look on your face. Get out of everybody else's way while you try to figure out if you spent the exact same amount on everyone in the immediate family.

4. Women seem compelled to take the path of greatest resistance while the shopping frenzy is upon them.

5. Men, NO there is no place to park that shopping cart that ten other people don't want to stand at too.

6. Wanna have some fun? Go pick up some ridiculous piece of crap, hold it up and examine it critically. Every woman in the store will immediately rush to that location to see if you've found a bargain they missed.

7. Honestly, I used to think this stuff was I Love Lucy fodder, not reality. I'm going back to bed.

3 comments:

Stephanie P. said...

you're crazy!! next time let mom go alone...trust me, she'll love being by herself to go insane in the stores and you'll love being by yourself too, i know you!!!

Kathleen Flynn said...

I first noticed the group shopping trend some time ago at Wal-Mart. Everyone in the family must touch the tomatoes and squeeze the bread before crowding around a frightened cashier to discuss their purchases.

Eric said...

I really don't get the group concept at Costco. I like having help and enjoy some company, but does it really take ten people to buy groceries for the week?

BTW, thanks to all who mobbed the mall on black Fri/Sat. Your presence there made my weekly foray to the grocery store serene and pleasant.