THE ZOAD By Dr. Seuss

The Zoad (OR, The Guy Who Couldn’t Make up His Mind)


Did I ever tell you about the young Zoad
Who came to two signs at a fork in the road?
One said to ‘Place One’ and the other ‘Place Two’
So the Zoad had to make up his mind what to do.
Well, the Zoad scratched his head and his chin and his pants
And he said to himself, “Now, I’ll be taking a chance.”
“If I go to Place One, that place may be hot
So how will I know if I’ll like it or not?
On the other hand though, I’ll feel such a fool
If I get to Place Two and find it’s too cool.
So Place One may be best.

On the other hand though if Place One is too high
I may get a terrible earache and die.
On the other hand though if Place Two is too low
I might catch a terribly strange pain in my toe.
So Place One may be best.”

So he started to go and he stopped and he said
“On the other hand though, on the other hand,
other hand, other hand though…”
And for thirty-six hours and a half that Zoad
Made starts and made stops at that fork in the road
Saying, “No, don’t take a chance, you may not be right!”
Then he got an idea which was wonderfully bright.
“Play safe!” cried the Zoad. “Play safe, I’m no dunce.
I’ll simply start to both places at once!”
And that’s how the Zoad who would not take a chance
Got to no place at all
With a split in his pants.